


You Looked So Lost

by Twentythreefandoms



Series: Our History is Only the Beginning [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 02:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13262019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twentythreefandoms/pseuds/Twentythreefandoms
Summary: When Yuri wakes to the sound of screaming, he doesn't expect to hear the one thing that could change his entire outlook on life.





	You Looked So Lost

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! 
> 
> It's been six months, but I've finally felt the writing juices again! I'm excited to share this with everyone!
> 
> This is a sequel to When You Were Alone and a prologue to the next work in the Our History is Only the Beginning series! It's a short introduction to our characters and where they've left off since Viktor and Yuuri's wedding! Can be read alone, but honestly you would be best to read the other works first! 
> 
> Light mentions of Viktor's past.

February, 2018

Saint Petersburg, Russia

 

The first thing Yuri heard upon waking was the sound of terrified screaming. The abrupt noise which quickly jarred his sleeping caused the nearly seventeen year old figure skater to bolt upright and look around his room. His eyes adjusted to the early morning glow and he was able to conquer easily that it was well before his time to be awake. Yuri wasn’t the only one who have been disturbed by the noise, his dutiful cat Potya had risen from his sleep and stood alert at the edge of Yuri’s bed and looked at the door leading to the rest of the house. 

The screaming itself had died down after a few more attempts, but it was enough to get Yuri’s anxiety to creep into his system, causing his fingers to clamp and his breathing to become erratic. It was only Viktor’s nightmares, Yuri concluded. He tried desperately to calm himself down, but the overwhelming feeling of drowning began to overtake him as the memories of the events that happened nearly a year ago became the forefront of his mind. Visions of Viktor’s heart attack in front of him… being abducted by his grandpa… discovering his grandfather was the one responsible for his mother’s death… and then in his own blind rage being the one to pull the trigger on his own grandfather, effectively killing him, but not before he himself was shot in the shoulder. 

Yuri whimpered as he brought his knees to his chest and locked his eyes forward, “Get over it, get over it…” He whispered desperately. 

He heard the faintest sound of voices from below him, and he knew that Yuuri and Viktor were awake still. Viktor had been suffering from his own Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after facing Yuri’s grandpa, the man who had taken him and used him as a sex slave for years come back into his life. In that moment, Yuri felt a shred of sympathy for Yuuri, who was not only promised to spend the rest of his life with Viktor and caring for him, but had promised to take in and house Yuri in his and Viktor’s estate outside of Saint Petersburg. Yuuri had been there for the two of them for over two years now, and it was just starting to sink in with Yuri what the Japanese man was doing for him. Yuuri and Viktor had given him a stable home with two caring guardians. It was more than Yuri got in the first fifteen years in his life.

The shred of sympathy caused the sixteen year old to gingerly climb out of his bed and pad his way outside his room on the third floor of the estate in order to check in on his guardians. He was still getting used to the lavish layout of the house and the fact that he lived there with Yuuri and Viktor. He even managed to pave his way into claiming what was supposed to be the theatre room as his bedroom, rather than one of the other bedrooms on the second floor, his reasoning that he didn’t want his room to be so close to the couple’s. After some short persuading Yuri got his wish, and in the end it worked out a lot better for everyone if Yuri had his own floor to himself. It allowed the blond to grow in his own way out of earshot from the couple who Yuri knew had a very active sex life. 

Yuri made his way to the second floor of the house and the sounds became louder; but upon closer listening it was only one voice audible and the other was mild sobs. Yuri’s heart clenched when he heard what was being said just on the other side of the door leading to the master suite.

“It’s okay, Vitya.” Yuuri was saying in a soothing tone. “You’re okay.”

“It’s my fault.” Viktor replied, his voice broken.

“Don’t ever say that!” Yuuri told him fiercely, “It is not your fault. There was nothing you could have done differently. You know you are not to blame.”

Yuri sighed softly. He knew that Viktor was having another episode, this one having to have been about his time as a drug addict who was forcibly held against by Yuri’s grandpa. Ever since Viktor began his therapy at the request of Yuuri the episodes happened much less frequently, but there were random nights such as this where Viktor’s past couldn’t be escaped. 

“I’m afraid he blames me for everything that’s happened.” Viktor replied.

Yuri’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Who was he talking about?

“Yuri doesn’t blame you at all, Viktor. How could you say that?” Yuuri told his husband.

Yuri took a step back in shock. Viktor thought that he hated him? Yuri wanted to burst into the room and confront his older guardian, but he was rooted into place, his mind beginning to put the possible puzzle pieces together. 

“I left him when I promised to choreograph his program after missing his birthday, causing him to feel isolated and alone. I kept the truth about his mother and his grandpa from him, putting him in danger’s way. If I had told him before, about everything, he might not have killed his grandpa… or had gotten shot.” Viktor’s cries became more palpable. “Yuuri, if it hadn’t been for his wound he would have made it to the podium at the Grand Prix Finals, I know it. He wouldn’t have given up at the Russian Nationals. He might still be skating today!”

Yuri’s eyes were stinging, the truth of everything hitting him hard. He had been too depressed in the months after the Grand Prix Finals to consider other alternatives other than his own self-deprecation. He had concluded that it was because he couldn’t have wanted it as much as the other competitors, that he could have trained harder or have gone easier on his shoulder. He never considered that Viktor had any part in it.

Until now. 

Yuri wiped the burning tears falling down his face with his good arm and separated himself from the bedroom door. He had to keep the horrible thoughts from solidifying. Viktor was kind. Viktor, along with Yuuri, had taken him in and gave him a home and a constant source of love and care despite his step away from figure skating. 

So why was he so upset?  

Before he could get himself caught by Yuuri and Viktor, the blond made his way upstairs once again and locked himself in his bedroom. Potya was waiting with his green eyes glowing in the early morning light as Yuri collapsed on his bed, attempting to keep his emotions in check. He hadn’t been to therapy in months, and for the first time he felt the loneliness that had created him. The loneliness that Viktor helped forge.

More than anything, he missed Otabek. It was a lot easier for Otabek to visit him ever since he had permanently moved to Russia a year ago, but the move into Viktor and Yuuri’s house was a far stretch for Otabek to come on a short notice. The nineteen year old had a motorcycle but it was still a thirty minute drive outside of the city, and Yuri wasn’t about to disrupt his boyfriend’s sleeping simply because he was having a bad night. No, he was going to be alone.

Yuri pulled himself out of his emotional episode when he heard a set of footprints coming up the stairs a short while later. He wiped his face and turned his body away from the door, feigning sleep. 

There was a soft knock on his door, “Yuri, are you awake?” Yuuri spoke gently.

Yuri remained silent despite he desperate urge for human contact.

“Yuri?” Viktor asked, his voice more sure than earlier.

Yuri ground his teeth, his newfound anger at his guardian causing him clench his fists on his bed sheets. He wanted to scream at Viktor to go away, to stop hurting him, but before he could say or do anything he could just make out the sound of the couple walking down the stairs once again and to their room. 

Yuri released a shuddering breath and ran a hand through his long blond hair. The revelation of his anger towards Viktor had planted itself within, and he couldn’t get it out. He was disappointed in himself for even acknowledging any truth to the older man’s accusations, but Yuri had so much pain and heartbreak in his life that he blamed on himself, it was almost too easy for him to blame it on someone else. 

Viktor’s anxiety had paved a new way for Yuri, one that he couldn’t help but accept. 

Viktor had ruined his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! What do you think Yuri will do? How is Viktor's mental health? Do you think Yuri will fall to the same demise as Viktor did when he was young?
> 
> The responses I get fuel me to keep writing! I'm still planning the plot of the main sequel to WYWA so stay tuned for that in the future!
> 
> Come join me on Tumblr! I'm Twentythreefandoms!


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